Putting on your Morgan Top
Do you have difficulty putting your top on single handedly (especially when it rains)? Does the frame keep falling down when you pull the top over it? Has your top shrunk making it difficult to quickly stretch into place by yourself?
Try this! Keep handy in the car 3 bungie cords (local bicycle shop $2.19 each), 2 two-ton hand winches with wire cables and clamp mounts ($39.95 each at your local hardware store), a small pneumatic drill ($288.00 from Black and Decker catalogue) and one adjustable hand-reamer (Melvyn Rutter $248.97 including transport, taxes and duty but it can also be used when maintaining your front suspension).
Hook one end of the first bungie cord around the centre of the middle frame rod and hook the other end of the cord tightly around your gear shift lever (making sure the car is not running). Clamp the two winches to the far sides of the front bumper and hook the winch cables into the second-from-the-end front eyelets of the cover. Now here is the tricky part. Straddle the bonnet of the car facing the windscreen and, with a rowing motion forward, winch the cover over the lift-a-dots. When it is positioned, use the pneumatic drill and hand-reamer to smoothly affix the cover with the lift-a-dots. (Some prefer a honer to a hand-reamer.)
If you find the cover sides sagging while winching, hook the two remaining bungie cords to the end eyelets on each side of the cover and position your car between two (preferably parked) vehicles. Attach the other ends of the bungie cords to the doors handles of these cars to keep it in place properly while winching forward.
N.B. It is extremely important to have the winches tightly clamped to the front bumper. My first wife was fatally catapulted through the windscreen when her winches detached suddenly (though happily the car was repairable).
INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT MORGANS
1. Morgans are to other cars what sneakers are to patent leather shoes.
2. Morgans are the least rare British Sports car:, if you can't find a used for one sale, ring up your local dealer and they will deliver you a new one.
3. Good British cars are lovingly remembered, but. great British cars are still being built.
4. In the 1960's, the builders of MG, Triumph, and Austin Healey believed Morgan was not in their class as an auto builder. In the 90's these same builders could be certain that they were right!
5 THE MORGAN MOTOR CAR COMPANY LTD. is a subsidiary of THE MORGAN MOTOR CAR COMPANY LTD.
6. When you got it right the first time there is no reason to change it.
7. During the 60's MG, Triumph and Austin Healey each produced more cars in a week than Morgan did in a year.In 1998 Morgan produced 500 more cars than all three of them combined.
8. Interestingly, A new Morgan meets all crash and safety standards. It actually performed better than many mass produced cars. So for your next car Think Morgan (for the sake of the kids).
You always park downhill.
Melvyn Rutter is listed as a dependent on your income tax form.
You get in a car and are surprised when all of the instruments work.
You tell your wife that you were out until 3AM because the car broke down...and she believes you.
The family is no longer upset in having to share the dinner table with a bunch of SU parts.
You don't trust anyone named Lucas.
When your generator dies, you just pull another out of your Lucas pile of bits.
You wash your hands BEFORE working in the engine compartment.
You'd rather give the family pit bull a bath than grease your front suspension.
You allow four hours for a trip, 3 for repairs and 1 for driving.
You can unstick a jammed starter in the dark, in the rain, in 5 minutes and don't think it's a big deal (though it still takes you 4 hours to put the top up.)
When there's no oil on the garage floor so you know the car is completely empty.
Your car makes an almost undiscernable funny sound and you immediately know what's wrong, how much it will cost, and what tools you will need to repair it.
The Ten
Best Things About Owning a Morgan
by Ed Herman
10 Everyone waves and shouts "Nice MG" as they drive by.
9 You know every mechanic in your area who is over 75 years old.
8 You can park next to the Ferrari.
7 The neighbors know when you leave home and come back.
6 You always find friends to push.
5 If it rains you have an excuse for not going to the store.
4 If it's sunny you don't need an excuse to go to the store.
3 You know just what it's like to own a kit car.
2 No one asks you to drive for their wedding.
1 You save space. The garage doubles as the rec room.
What You're Really Saying With The Car You Buy
Acura Integra - I've always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars
Acura Legend - I'm too bland for German cars
Acura NSX - I'm impotent
Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires
Buick Park Avenue - I'm older than 34 of the 50 states
Cadillac Eldorado - I'm a very good Mary Kay saleswoman
Cadillac Seville - I pimp for a living
Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating the hell out of people
Chevrolet Chevette - I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette
Chevrolet Corvette - I'm having a mid-life crisis
Chevrolet El Camino - I'm leading a militia to overthrow the government
Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather
Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
Dodge Dart - I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower
Dodge Daytona - I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
Ford Fairmont - (See Dodge Dart)
Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in school zones
Ford Crown Victoria - I love it when people slow down and change lanes when I pull up behind them
Geo Storm - I start the 11th grade in the fall
Geo Tracker - I start the 12th grade in the fall
Honda del Sol - I've always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all
Honda Civic - I just graduated and have no credit
Honda Accord - I lack any originality and am basically a lemming
Infiniti Q45 - I'm a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending
Isuzu Impulse - I don't give a damn about J.D. Power or his reports
Jaguar XJ6 - I'm so rich I'll pay $60K for a car that's in the shop 280 days a year
Kia Sephia - I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu
Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
Mercury Grand Marquis - (See Lincoln Town Car)
Mercedes 500SL - I'll beat you up if you ask me for an autograph
Mercedes 560SEL - I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole
Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler
MGB - I'm dating a mechanic
Mitsubishi Diamante - I don't know what it means either
Morgan -
Nissan 300ZX - I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings
Oldsmobile Cutlass - I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts
Peugeot 505 Diesel - I'm on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List
Plymouth Neon - I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
Pontiac Trans AM - I have a switchblade in my sock
Porsche 944 - I'm dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me
Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat Buchanon is a tad bit too liberal
Saturn SC2 - (See Honda Civic)
Subaru Legacy - I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than Isuzu
Toyota Camry - I'm still in the closet
Volkswagon Beetle - I still watch Partridge Family reruns
Volkswagon Cabriolet - I'm out of the closet
Volkswagon Microbus - I'm tripping right now
Volvo 740 Wagon - I'm frightened of my wife